How To Write a Eulogy: A Simple 4-Part Outline (With Prompts)
Being asked to give a eulogy is an honor and, for most people, terrifying. It helps to know what a eulogy is not: it is not a full biography, and it does not need to be perfect. It is a few true stories that show who the person was.
How long should a eulogy be?
Three to five minutes is plenty, especially if others are also speaking. People speak at roughly 120 to 150 words per minute, so that is about 400 to 700 words, or one to two typed pages. Ask the family or officiant how much time you have.
A simple 4-part outline
1. Opening. Say who you are and how you knew them. Then one sentence that captures them: "If you knew Dad, you know he never met a stranger."
2. Their story. Three or four moments from their life: where they came from, what they did, what mattered most. Keep it brief; the obituary already covers the facts.
3. One or two stories. This is the heart of the eulogy. Pick a specific memory that only you can tell, and include details: the place, the weather, what they said. Specific beats general every time.
4. What they leave us. A lesson, a habit, a saying. How you will carry it forward. End with a short line: a goodbye, a thank you, or their favorite phrase.
Prompts if you're stuck
- What would they be doing right now if they were here?
- What did they always say?
- What did people come to them for?
- What made them laugh, or made everyone else laugh?
- What is something small they did that you only appreciated later?
Write fast answers to three of these and you will usually have your stories.
On the day
- Print it in large type (16 to 18 point), double-spaced, pages numbered.
- Read it aloud twice beforehand: once alone, once to someone you trust.
- Mark places to breathe with a slash in the margin.
- Give a copy to a back-up reader who can step in if you can't continue. That is completely okay.
- It's fine to cry. Pause, breathe, continue. Nobody expects a flawless performance.
Humor in a eulogy
A funny story is often the most loving part of a eulogy, as long as it is kind and the person would have laughed too. A good test: would you tell it with their spouse or parent in the front row?
The Funeral Planning & Obituary Pack includes a printable eulogy outline, an editable template, and a page of readings and poems families often choose. If you're also writing the obituary, start with how to write an obituary.
Funeral Planning & Obituary Pack — $12
17-page workbook with your FTC Funeral Rule rights, funeral home comparison, budget planner, 6 obituary templates, eulogy outline and program template. Instant download: PDF + DOCX + XLSX.
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